Today we went to Pompeii, the ruins of an ancient city that was demolished by eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 A.D. It was an amazing place to see and visit. The remains and foundation of the city are still very much there, but the amount of destruction that has occured is mindblowing. When we were first talking of going, I was not that enthused. I thought, “yay…more ruins.” I thought, once you saw several, you’ve seen them all. Let’s face it, we are in Italy, and thanks to the Roman Empire it is full with well over it’s share of ruins. But after arriving, I noticed that these were different. It may be because of the nature that this city met it’s fate. The entire city was taken, and frozen in time at a moment’s notice. It was a grand city that showed much prowess and seemed to be on a fast track to a bustling high society. When we first walked onto the grounds we were greated green plains and rose bushes against the landscape of a destroyed city. From where we were, you could see the may rows of building and roads where people once lived and walked. There was a “feeling” that came with this place. An unexplained quiet. Besides the many many tourists, it was silent, but not an empty silence. This city had a character, but it was dead and living at the same time. It was peculiar. Even though have destroyed and in rubble, the city was still beautiful. In it’s original state, it must have been breath-taking. As we walked the streets, where the residents of Pompeii once walked, we saw remnants of their civilization scattered about and carved and painted onto walls. Their houses, although small, were gorgeous!…With beautiful courtyards, huge fountains, and paintings on every wall. In some of the house you could still see the original frescoes that were painted on the wall. They didn’t waste their times with frames and mounting, the masterpieces were painted directly onto the wall, creating a “wallpaper” of art. Every room painted in bright, rich colors, although now, faded. Rooms with Roman baths, saunas, and even evidence of indoor toilets. I often found myself saying, “I want a house just like this.” or “I want a room decorated like this.” Even though it was in ruins, and most of the walls chipped off or weathered away, it’s beauty was undeniable. There is a house called the Villa of Mysteries, named for its unknown origin and use, but more recently for its emaculate condition. Majority of the orginal frescoes are intact, as well as, most of the walls and ceiling. (Which, compared to the rest of the city, is amazing.) But the most interesting, and eerie, sights were the bodies. During excavation of the city, human remains were found. What was even more fascinating, was that the bodies were found well preserved and in specific positions, as if frozen in time as the effects of the eruption engulfed the city. So, plaster casts were made of the bodies and placed in the exact spot they were found. I had heard of this before, and it was part of the reason I wanted to come to Pompeii, but actually seeing it was truly unreal. Unreal and heartbreaking. Especially as I looked at the casts of young children laying next to parents, trying to shield themselves. There was even one section where they found about 10 bodies in a row. Chills. As we continued touring the grounds, we found an archives of things they have discovered in the city, therer were shelves and shelves and shelves, that seemed like they went on forever, full of pots and ceramics, statues, and even more casts of bodies (even one of a dog). My favorite place, however, had to be the theaters of Pompeii. The large ampitheaters were artists stood and entertained the citizens. This was my home. As an artist, no matter where I am, I always feel a connection with the stage, the playing ground for my craft. I could just myself there, center stage, performing for the masses. Pompeii was a really cool place to visit. Even as we were leaving, at closing, we found ourselves some of the last to leave, and when we walked down the street there was no one to be seen. It was so quiet. It was as if everyone, the hundreds of tourists from earlier, had all disappeared in an instant. Just us and the ruins. It was quite a finish to a long day of myster and discovery.
Lonely, but not Alone
It’s funny how you can be surrounded by people 24/7 and still feel totally alone. Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. Even though every day I’m performing for hundreds and teaching and interacting with children to adults, I still have these feelings. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I want to see my young artists on stage. I need some t.l.c. Now don’t get me wrong, this experience is completely amazing and I know it’s a blessing that I’m experiencing it, but I can’t help the loneliness that I sometimes feel. With each passing day I carry on as if I don’t have family or I don’t have friends. I don’t hear from them and being honest, they don’t really hear from me. Leaving me with a feeling of being forgotten. I know this is incredibly over-dramatic, ridiculous and quite selfish, and I am trying to fight it. Hearing from best friendes recently (thank you Kate and Kiki) has helped, but as quickly as I was excited by their call, that feeling of being loved dissipated. This is the longest I have ever been away from home or my friends, and it’s starting to hit me how dependent I was on their energies. When I’m performing or working, I forget about these wantings, but they are always waiting for me when I have a moment of stillness or down-time. I don’t know what can remedy this feeling. Maybe a short visit home? But I go home every night…then wake up feeling just as lonely as the day before. Every night, when I close my eyes, I find myself at home. Every time it is so vivid, it really feels like I’m there, with last night’s dream being one of the most real. It was nothing spectacular, just me talking to my mom, visiting Mosaic, at the dance studio, going out with friends…it truly felt like home. I didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want to leave. But my visit was over and with a yearning heart, I had to get up and start a new day. I can only hope that you are thinking of me, because with every moment I am thinking of you. I love you and miss you terribly. See you tonight.
A Funny Moment
We had a really funny moment today, and it truly showed what this touring life is like and that no matter our differences, there are some things that we are all going through. We were gathered around the TV watching Idlewild. (I didn’t know how the film would favor with the English, Canadian, Irish, and Belgium folk, or if they would even be able to appreciate it, but it went over pretty well.) Well, we were watching this movie, and we came to the scene where Percival (Andre 3000) and the songstress “Angel” had a hott love scene. Before this moment everyone had been making little comments, laughing here and there, and not everyone was watching, a couple people were passing through. But as soon as the love making started, the extra movement went to nothing and the sound in the room went from comments to whispers to silence, almost immediately. Every single person was just staring at the TV with a glazed over look in our eyes. Even when one girl tried to catch a joke, there was only a slight giggle, but it quickly evaporated. Everyone’s attention was fixed on the television and the chocolate and caramel bodies rolling around in passion. Once the scene was over, it was like everyone came up for air. After a brief silence, someone sarcastically muttered, “I think we may be going through withdrawal.” We immediately burst into an explosive laughter. Until that moment every eye was stuck on that screen and even funnier, everyone’s legs were crossed or pressed together in some way. Just then the only other person in the flat, not watching walked into the kitchen where we all were, and with perfect timing said, “What happened?” Again, we burst into laughter, because only moments ago we were all collectively experiencing a moment of weakness, plagued by and immersed in our own fantasies, and totally oblivious to any one else in the room, or in the world for that matter. I think we’re all in desperate need of some serious TLC.
